The March winds are still blowing...smoke

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by James Leavey

I was standing outside The DCE the other day, minding my own cigar and

ignoring the wrinkled noses and nasty looks of the anti-smoking rabble.

And somehow it reminded me that Faith can move mountains. But then

she's a big girl.

Now there's another hurdle looming on the horizon for smokers to jump...

enjoying lit tobacco in open spaces such as parks, streets and beaches or

anywhere else where anti-smokers are parading with their 'Put that light

out!' placards. It's like World War Two, except no one will offer me a

smoke after the bombs have dropped. What those miserable bastards are

really trying to snuff is the freedom of grown-ups who simply want to

enjoy the pleasure of a smoke while out and about. For that's the best way

to see a city, especially Dublin.

Jaysus, what a boring politically correct world we are being forced to live

in. Dull and half-arsed, like a politician on the spout. It's not as if anyone

is going to catch the dreaded lurgy a.k.a. cancer from passive smoking in

the open air. Even the anti's agree on that, albeit reluctantly. But they

really don't want anyone to be seen to actually enjoy life, which is shorter

than you think, and should, whenever possible, be a merry one.

So what's next? Eating food on the run? Such as fish 'n' chips which

always taste better eaten out of a newspaper...in which you can usually

see more drivel written about the terrors of tobacco. The great thing is you

can always set fire to the rag and consign it's ashes of ignorance to history.

What about smoked salmon? Will that be banned too? Or Guinness? How

dare they serve black liquid. Shouldn't it be rainbow-coloured to reflect the

cultural mix.

Just imagine standing in Speaker's Corner in London and arguing for your

rights, without being able to smoke. That's probably why maybe you should

avoid that city, or at least that park on a Sunday morning.

Trouble is, the rot is spreading - all of it based on a tissue of blinkered

ill-considered exaggerations (OK, downright lies) about the evil of smoking

spouted by the Holy Joes of the world. Who, strangely enough, are busy

creating new careers for themselves by promoting and indeed selling nicotine

alternatives most of which are worse than the tobacco they keep insisting is

bad for us. What fucking hypocrisy.

I once saw in America the following graffiti on the side of a building: 'Do not

bend,fold or mutilate in any way this wall.'

Despite everything, that wall remains standing, rather like the hard core of

cigar lovers who will continue with their nicotine habit, no matter what.

For it is their right. At least while tobacco in all its forms is still legally on

sale to adults.

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