A cigar a day keeps the doctors away

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A few years ago I was treated (successfully) for prostate cancer.
 
So I kept puffing away on my cigars for they made me feel better. That and the regular daily drams 
of the hard stuff kept me going.
 
 

Then some fecker suggested I ought to quit, for health reasons.


'I may talk out of my arse at times,' I responded, giving the old Monte 2  a quick burst from my
cigar lighter which is in the shape of a bright
red miniature fire extinguisher, 'but I have never smoked out of it.'
 
Actually, that's not entirely true: a vindaloo curry turns my arse into a volcano.  But at least I can get a 
light off it. In fact, I could
probably light up the whole of Dublin with one pungent fart.
 
That said, I have never believed all that bollox about passive smoking. Jaysus, if I thought that 
was true I'd lock myself into a small room
with the anti-smoking eejits and ignite a full box of 25
just to get
rid of them.
 
Meanwhile, the other day my Dubliner pal, Mr Hancock, sent me some notes on cigars and health he 
found on that excellent informative
tobacco tolerant website www.CigarCyclopedia.com
 
Turns out I wasn't wrong for, according to several serious medical studies over the years, chances 
are that smoking a few cigars a day are
better than an apple (never could light those round feckers,
anyway,
so it's just as well) for keeping you alive.
 
Maybe that's why I am still here heading towards the big 70 with a great big smile on my face due 
to the fact that I prefer to enjoy life
rather than moan about it.
 
Now think on this: how come so many of those cigar smokers I have met around the world are 
still alive well into their 80s while those sad
bastards who waste their time exercising, eating all
the 'right foods'
(whatever the fuck that is) and dying like flies. 
 
ends